You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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