I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
