don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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