and i looked up. we had an audience...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
