Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
