Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
