Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
don't judge my taste in strippers
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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