i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You are a genius and a whore.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
