...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
