Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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