I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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