the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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