Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
