I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
how does that bad decision feel?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
