Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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