i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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