just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
