what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
