i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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