Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
