i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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