He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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