office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
