how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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