Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
