I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
