I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize