her vagine was all disorganized.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
