is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My boob is missing a layer of skin
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
