Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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