Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
