I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
