Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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