idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
