My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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