so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
