I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
