There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
