I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
