I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
