I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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