Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm too high and old for this...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
