i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
