did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
