Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
