dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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