Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize