tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize