i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
