i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
