the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
