If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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