Me too!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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