i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize