This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
