just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
